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I discussed my “no hot tenants” policy with my friend, which he agreed with.

We then “naturally” escalated onto creating a list of cool ways we could entice hot tenants to sleep with their landlord.

All you need to do is pop over with a handyman belt, while wearing a tight pair of jeans that expose your arse-crack when you bend over. To protect his identity, i’m going to refer to him as “Peanut”. This probably borders along the line of prostitution, but if both landlord and tenant is cool with that, I don’t see a problem.

But as I started writing this blog post and going over the scenarios in my head, i realised that if I was a tenant and my landlord offered me any of the above deals, I’m not entirely sure I would refuse.

I’m not sure if that’s because 1) I’m male 2) I’m sex crazed 3) I lack morals 4) I’m desperate. I don’t want some 40yr old virgin actually trying anything I’ve mentioned above, and then getting prosecuted for sexual harassment, and then filing a legal lawsuit against me for dishing out the above tips.

In retrospect, the conversation was extremely cynical, because at the time it never crossed our minds that a hot tenant MIGHT want to have sex with us unless she needed to. Anyways, we eventually came up with a facetious (I hope it was facetious anyways) list of ways landlords could entice their hot tenants to sleep with them.

I mentioned this earlier, and it’s probably the most obvious method of getting into your tenants bed, to reduce the rent, or completely voiding it all together.

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