Dating 10 months now
What matters is that you find a way to talk about important things as you build a relationship that works for both of you. Even if this not a rejection — and I don’t think this is one — I know it can feel like it. (It’s OK to tease him.) Tell him that you’d like to know more about where he’s coming from — more than that he just “generally waits.” And tell him why you are ready. The reason you should really talk this out is the same reason why I don’t like the word “abnormal.” It doesn’t matter what he does “generally,” just as it doesn’t matter what’s “normal.” This is just about the two of you and nobody else. You’re dating an amazing guy, and while things are going well, you’re a bit confused. When you’re together, it’s like you can conquer the world as a pair. You’re sure that you read into the signs that he might be falling in love with you, and yet, all of a sudden, he seems to have done a 180. There are definitely signs he loves you but is scared. Let’s be clear: Nobody’s problems are ever “truly” in the past — if, by “truly,” you mean completely. Whether it’s this relationship issue or your own anxiety, these aren’t issues that can simply be dealt with and dismissed, trashed and put behind you. “It’s not even past.” It’s natural for issues to linger.It’s natural to for you to continue to be a bit suspicious or insecure after seeing evidence that your boyfriend was flirting with other women, even if you trust him. I guess what I’m saying is: Don’t blame your anxiety here. He seems to retreat into his tough turtle shell, leaving you standing there with your heart on your sleeve. You’ve been so careful about not coming on too strong. In today’s video, I’m going to explain exactly why he’s pulled away from you, what’s going on inside men’s minds when this happens, and, more importantly, what you can do about it when he shows those signs he loves you but is scared.
You’re strong enough to simply say, “I’m bothered by the way you act when your ex is in town.I don’t think your worries sound all that extreme or even unrealistic. But it’s real and you shouldn’t brush it away as a symptom of your anxiety.He was flirting with other women on Snapchat and you sensibly wonder about whether he’s going to be faithful. You ask if this is an “actual issue” of if it’s just your anxiety. Tell him that if you’re going to be together, you need him to understand that it’s not cool for him to flirt with other women when things get rough.It’s somewhat worrisome that he won’t even make plans with you when his ex is in town, but you say you trust him and know he wouldn’t cheat.But you don’t only talk to your boyfriend about something that bothers you when it’s a huge deal. If there’s something you’re thinking about and only he’s got the answers, you should almost always talk to him.